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Squirrel Eating My Balls!

February 28, 2014 by  

Dear Tony,
Last week I was at Cobblestone Golf Course on the 12th hole, I drove my ball near a tree.When I reached my ball, I noticed a frigging Squirrel had picked up my ball and was chewing on it. I started to scream at the S.O.B., and took out my 22 and proceeded to shoot at him. With all dis excitement he dropped the ball. My ball was all chewed up and now I was further deeper in some bushes. What’s the proper ding to do.
Angelo Tropiccani-Ackworth.

Dear Angelo,
Lucky for you da rules aren’t as fuzzy as your little friend. According to Rule 18-1 says dat a ball moved by an outside agency can be replaced without a penalty. Also since dat S.O.B. turned you ball into a Flintstones ball you can replace that too. Rule 5-3 Balls unfit to play, can be swapped out, but it must show visibly cut, or cracked or out of shape. Just inform your crew of what happened and if they don’t believe you also show dem your gun and let dem feel dat da barrel is still warm.

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