Tee Times

The Mayor’s Tournament is happy to announce that we have completed the registration process and are completely booked.

We will have twelve foursomes ready to go this Saturday to vie for The Mayor’s Trophy, uhm, trophy.  Below are the groupings and the tee times.

We advise getting to the course early, hitting your bucket of balls and mentally preparing for a long day ahead.

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Only Two Weeks – Important Information

As you all know, The Mayor’s Tournament is just a few weeks away.

The sign-ups have been brisk over the past week and we are well on the way to the largest tournament ever!!  The prizes being given out this year are better than ever. In fact, there will be a hole in one prize that is worthy of being a PGA Hole-in-One prize. Not quite an Escalade, but just as prestigious. Our representatives are currently in discussion with the Glancy Agency for Hole in One insurance.

But remember it’s not about you. It’s about the kids.

To reserve your slot, and chance to win many valuable prizes, get your money in now. You can use the Paypal option on this website or you can get the cash to the Mayor, Joe Mantineo in person.

The deadline for payment is this week June 5th.

Keep in mind the Mayor has laid out all the cash up front so if you don’t want to see his wife, son and poor skinny Dino begging for food in the streets, get the money to him sooner than later.

The Mayor’s Tournament Committee can’t wait to see you on the course.

I’ll leave you with some photos of the Mayor on his 50th birthday.

Twinkle Toes

Dear Mr. T,

It was a glorious day on the golf course as I approached a long eagle putt on a short par 5. I couldn’t see the hole, so after I hit the ball, I followed it toward the cup. I got there just as the ball did and when it started to slow near the hole. I jokingly stamped my foot to help the ball go in. Well guess what? It went in!

As I left the green I was wondering whether my Irish Jig actually caused it to go in the hole.

Tony, was I correct in giving my self an eagle? Please set my conscience straight.

- Twinkle Toes

—————

Dear Twinkle Toes,

According ta Rule 1.2.4, if da ball was still moving when you did your Jig, I hate to tell ya my friend, but dat’s a two stoke penalty.

Dis is because your action coulda influenced da movement of da ball. Now if da ball was at rest when youse did your jig, den it’s a one stroke penalty and you have ta replace da ball.

Now again if it was not possible ta tell whedda it was moving or not, da rulez ain’t kind here either. It’s presumed to be moving if it can’t be determined dat it was at rest. So instead of your eagle you get a par. Kapish?

My advice…save da jig for da next dead body you see.

-T

The Old Rake & Bunker Story

Dear Tony,

One of my competitors hit a shot that stopped up against a rake just above a sand trap. Because of the slope, the ball would have rolled into the bunker if the rake was moved. So what my buddy does is use his wedge to strike the rake’s handle which propelled his ball onto the green. I told him he could only strike the ball with the club head and he should take a stroke penalty.

Tell me I’m right and I win a bet against this creative douche.

Raked Over the Coals

———

Dear Raked Over,

Well, well, well, if it ain’t da old hit-the-rake-dats-blocking-da-ball-from-da-bunker-and-knocking-it-on-da-green trick. If I seen it once, I seen it over a hundred times. Short answer…it sucks to be you.

Your buddy played the ball fairly per Rule 14-1, even though an object intervened between the club head and da ball (Rule 14-1-5 ).

He also could have removed the rake and replaced da ball if it moved (Rule 24-1A).

If da ball failed to come to rest on da spot and kept rolling into the bunker, he would have had to replace it at the nearest spot where it would come to rest, but that is not nearest to da hole and not in da bunker.

Face it, your friend is better den you, smarter den you, and I’d bet, more successful den you.

-T

DiGusto’s

I had the good fortune to be able to take my wife out for dinner on Mother’s Day.

I broke my own commandment of never going out to eat on Mother’s Day due to poor service by temporary waiters brought in for the holiday rush, price gouging, and long lines.

I was however, pleasantly surprised by the service at our dinner destination: DiGusto’s.

When we walked in we were immediately greeted by an attractive, efficient hostess. Let the record show that The Godfather hates to wait, but worse yet, he hates ugly, old and tired looking hostesses! This pleasant hostess told us it would be 10 minutes and we could have a seat in the bar.

At the bar, we were waited on quickly. I was in the mood for a beer and it was VERY COLD!! What a small detail so many restaurants forget these days. How hard is it to make the beer “extra-cold”? Small things matter so much.

My wife normally goes through a painfully frustrating 20 minute process of ordering wine. The very busy bartender was most gracious in accommodating the 90 questions and samplings of every white wine in the house. I must admit, my girlfriends are much quicker to decide what they like to drink.

The walk to our table came shortly thereafter, and we were seated and attended to quickly. We were treated to a very nice added bonus; a singer!! Not sure if this is a regular thing or perhaps just hired for the Mother’s Day event, but the singer was very talented and walked throughout the restaurant singing Sinatra and Dean Martin type songs on a portable microphone and piped in background music (Karaoke style). A nice touch for all the patrons.

Time to order: again…my wife with the 90 questions. That’s a total of 180 for those of you scoring at home.

I ordered the spicy linguine with marinara clam sauce which was excellent, but too spicy for me (ed note…what part of spicy does The Don not understand?). This was my fault not the restaurants! If you like spicy it would be fantastic, I ordered spicy but thought it would be lighter. My wife ordered the fish and pasta and said hers was excellent.

The Godfather is always on edge when a young waitress waits on his table. I don’t like inexperience, poor knowledge of the menu, and general ignorance when it comes to basic dinning rules and etiquette. But I do like ample bosoms and will let things slide if confronted with said rack. Fortunately no trade off were needed on this day. I was impressed with our waitress. While young, she was very knowledgeable and helpful.

Another one of the Godfather’s pet peeves is the speed and tempo of the dining experience. Again the Godfather does not like to wait, but certainly does not like to be rushed either. Many a times the Godfather has sent back an entrée to the kitchen because a hyper young waiter decided he wanted to “move the table along” and place the entrée on the table next to my half finished salad. Di Gustos waited on us immediately, then came back for the order, spaced delivery of each course appropriately.

They did not do a hard sell for dessert and thank god almighty did not take forever to bring the check when I was bloated and ready to get the hell out of there and go home and sit on the couch.

All in all a good dining experience, price was acceptable for Mother’s Day also.

Until next month…..show respect, spend time with your family, and pray.

-The Godfather