New Sponsor – Shaving Gallery

The Mayor’s Tournament is happy to announce it has received a sponsorship deal with The Shaving Gallery.

If you haven’t received a shave there yet, then you are in for a treat. With any luck, you will be able to select them as your prize for this year. Trust me, it will be well worth the selection.

The Shaving Gallery offers simple, affordable, high quality shaving solutions for men while educating them on the importance of using non-toxic ingredients and proper shaving techniques. Yes, even to rubes like you.

They’re conveniently located on Cobb Parkway, and more specifically … 3466 Cobb Parkway NW, Suite 130
Acworth, GA 30101

Give ‘em a call at 770-975-9998 and tell them that Joey sent you.

Invitations Are Ready

The Mayor’s Tournament selection committee is proud to announce that we have secured, yet again, the services of Cobblestone Golf Course for this year’s tournament.

The tournament will commence on June 20th at 9:30 am. You read that correctly. Nine thirty ayyy emm.

RSVP required by Friday, June 5th.

Payments are already starting to trickle in via Paypal. If you’re financially strapped, there’s no better way to pay than via a credit card. Why pay now for something you can deduct in bankruptcy later?

Don’t forget, if you’d like to sponsor a hole it is only an additional $100. We’re not telling what you’ll get just yet, rest assured you will be very pleased.

If you’d like to donate cash, gifts or prizes please contact Mayor Joe. Remember, all proceeds go to charity.

Look for the hardcopy invite to arrive in your mailbox shortly.

From all of us at TMT HQ, we’re looking forward to seeing you out there.

UNDAGROUND

Dear T,

I play in the Pacific Northwest and live under the Ferderal Witness Protection Program and it gets pretty cold up here.

A friend in my group hit his drive, which appears ta go out of bounds. He declared a provisional and since I was next ta his golf bag he requested me ta get him another ball for him.

As I reached into his golf bag I feels a large cold item that resembles a 44 caliber revolver. More importantly, next ta dat I noticed he was using a hand warmer ta keep his golf balls warm. I heard that warm balls fly farther. From experience, I know they look bigger when warm.

Anyway, I didn’t whack em with my gun, or a penalty stroke, but should I have?

Vinny Gumbots

—-

Dear Vinny,

Unda Rule (14-3/13.5) if yous are using a ball dat has been purposely warmed during a round with a artificial device yous guys are automatically disqualified. Howeva you can artificially warm your balls prior to da round. Redtube.com is a great place for dat.

Me personally, I would have shot the prick in da knee for cheating.

-T

Bad to the Bone

There’s an author in our midst. No he’s not a golfer at The Tournament, but rather a family member of a participant, and more specifically a family pet.

From shelter dog reject to beloved pet and popular doggie blogger, Bo Hoefinger’s life has been anything but ordinary.

Join this incorrigible canine as he welcomes us into his life, complete with his wacky “parents,” a constipated feline house-mate, and chipmunk warfare. Bad to the Bone is an unforgetable, laugh-out-loud tale of love and loyalty that reveals the true heart of a modern American family.

The book is set for release on October 8th at all major book sellers. In the meantime, don’t hesitate to head over to Bo’s website BoKnowsOnline.com.

The Mayor can’t recommend this book enough, nor can the webmaster of The Mayor’s Tournament, who just happens to be Bo’s owner.

Papi’s – Very Cuban & Very Good

At the suggestion of a neighbor I recently had the opportunity to treat a friend to lunch at Papi’s Cuban Restaurant located at 745 Chastain Road in Kennesaw, GA.

Again, my three primary criterion for rating restaurants is; Service, Food Quality and Price to Value ratio.  Papi’s rates very good to excellent in all three areas.

Although I attended the restaurant for lunch at 1:30, the service was still excellent.  Waiters greeted us at the door and then again within 2 minutes at the table with menus and a readiness to take our drink order.  Both my guest and I ordered “Papi’s Cuban Sandwich (which I am crazy for).  The amount of food and size of the sandwich was very generous.  The flavor of the sandwich was outstanding.  We also ordered some plantain chips and black beans which were also plentiful and tasty.

Also, of an interesting note; Papi’s being located on Chastain Road is part of the growing Kennesaw State University’s growing section of college type bar restaurants, which has the added benefit of packing itself with nice looking women, easy women, which always adds to the excitement of the atmosphere.  Papi’s at 1:30 on a Thursday afternoon had plenty of females to compliment the good food.

We ate outside (something I normally don’t do because The Don don’t like no flies, wind and car noises that interrupt cell phone calls from the boss when you take a long lunch etc) and the outside dining area was great!

The bill came to $24.00 with tip, for two Cubans , and plantain chips and rice and beans.  Just a little bit on the high side, but not too much to complain about due to the generous portions.  Inside area was very nice, new , clean and lots of space.  Bar area is spacious and lots of flat screen TVs.

Mr. Manners

Dear Tony,

I tees up and addresses my ball, den I steps back to take a practice swing when I digs up an enormous divot that sent friggen mud, blood and dirt flyin’ everywhere. Some of da bloody mud stuck to the back of my ball and I proceeded to clean it. I don’t won’t no authorities checkin my balls for dna, you know what I mean?

My buddy Mon Mullins said I don’t got no right to do dat because I had already addressed my ball and therefore it was in play. What do you dink T, am I right for cleanin it or what?

Anthony Antiposto

Dear Mr. Antiposto,

Hot or cold I don’t know. While your ball may not be clean, your conscience should be.

Your friend Moony was trying to talk ya into another stroke. Da rules say you can clean your ball, lick your ball, stick that ball up your bung or whatever… all because you didn’t take a stroke yet.

If you’da taken a stroke or whiffed like my friend Joey “Stuggats” Mantineo ya woulda incurred a one stroke penality for lifting and cleaning dat ball. To be clear, dat’s da ball on the ground, not the ones hangin in youse pants. Dat means you’d have ta wait to clean da ball until you was proceeding unda Rule( 24-2 ) which allows a lift and clean to da ball when you’re on da green.

-T

Mayor’s Tournament Video Highlights

Here’s footage of Mayor’s Tournament players in action. We’ve seen better swings at the Toys R Us returns department.